


In Dark, In Dream

by Ineia



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Dreams, Experimental Style, Gen, M/M, light and dark imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4213713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineia/pseuds/Ineia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this quote: “A Japanese legend says that if you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Dark, In Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This is very different from my normal writing style, it's supposed to be surreal and like a dream so hopefully they comes across.  
> Huge thanks to my friend Lee (tangobread on tumblr) for reading this over and giving me advice! Couldn't have done it without them!
> 
> NOTE: I do not own Hunter x Hunter and its related media. However the plot of this story, and other aspects I created, are my own work, derived from Hunter x Hunter.

     It's not the first time he's seen this scene play out.

     He is running.  So fast, but everything feels too slow and he doesn't know why.  Going and going and he sees a figure, the figure, and he knows that he is in a chase.

     And Gon knows the figure, he knows the face and the voice from the faint laughs he can hear from the person ahead of him.  But he can't place it.

     There is no malicious intent in the chase, but there's a desperation in his step.

     Desperation, he thinks, he wants to catch up so badly.  He has to catch up, but he doesn't need to.  He would live if he stopped his pursuit.  Desperation is need.  Want is something else entirely, and then he realizes—desire, it's desire.

     He can't tell how long he runs.  He is running fast, but time feels slow and everything is a blur.  Finally the figure halts and Gon reaches them.

The figure is looking at him, smiling, eyes full of affection, but Gon still can't figure out who it is.

     It's not that he forgets, but his senses are dull—even when he looks the figure right in the face, he knows he knows but the name is lost to him.  He can't see anything clearly.

Everything is bright and all of a sudden it's just the figure and himself in bright light, but where was he before?  Gon can't recall.  Running through a wood?  On a road?  In a city?  Or maybe he was just in a light the whole time?

     Nothing is clear.  Gon isn't sacred, but he's confused and feels lost.

As he stands bewildered, the light around him begins to fade into darkness and the figure is vanishing away.

     The figure holds out a hand to Gon as the rest of the body disappears.

     The feet are gone, and the legs are ceasing to exist as Gon desperately throws his hand out, trying to get them to stay.  Though Gon swore the figure was right in front of him it takes ages for his hand to meet the person's.

     But he reaches out to the figure and takes the hand and feels the soft palm and he knows who the figure is in an instant.  Light explodes outward from the body; faded body parts reappear, and the light returns immediately.  The figure squeezes Gon's hand and warmth flows into Gon through the touch.

     It only occurs to Gon as the light returns that he himself was being consumed by dark, and that he has been fading too.

     "Killua," Gon says.  His voice sounds relieved and he comprehends that he is too.  The dark is banished, Killua is here, Killua is with Gon.

     Gon pulls Killua into a hug and his friend does not resist.

     The tranquility that sweeps Gon greatly contrasts how he felt moments ago, or perhaps longer, as he had chased Killua.  His head rests against Killua's jaw and neck and warmth radiates from the white haired boy.

     "Killua, I love you," Gon says.  It comes out softly, slowly.  He's said it before but it feels different this time.  There's no reply, but Gon doesn't need one.

      _I love you._

      _I miss you._

      _I love you._

      _I love you._

 

 

 

     "Killua."

     Gon sits up. It's dark, and he covers his mouth, he doubts anyone heard him.

     Removing his arms from under his bed's covers, he shuts his eyes and sees only the dark.

It's a dream, he thinks, it's the same dream as all the nights and it feels new each time.

     It's a dream, he thinks, and I wish it was real.

 

     He can't sleep the rest of the night and simply states at the ceiling.  He knows it's his fault his dreams aren't reality.

 

     Gon doesn't know how much time passes before he slowly curls his hands into fists, uncurls them, and then holds them up spread wide towards the ceiling.

     The warmth is gone from his hands.

     Some part of him thinks it was never there to begin with.

  


×

  


     It takes Killua a long time to fall asleep.  Lately, it takes him longer than it ever has.  He doesn't know why.

     When he can't sleep, he thinks.  thinks. Yet his fatigued mind never failed to trail back to a past that he'd rather not remember.

     He looks to sleep as an escape from his own history.  But what he looks for he can never seem to find.

  


  


  


     It's dark.  Everything starts in the dark.  He sees Gon and then there's light.  Not everywhere, just from Gon, but enough light that Killua can stand beside him and not be in the dark.

He walks to his dear friend and Gon offers his hand.  He takes it and they stand looking into the darkness in front of them, Killua clutching Gon's hand tight.

     At first Gon leads him, his illumination holding back the dark.  Eventually though, Gon stops leading and Killua stops following and they walk along together with no destination in mind.

     Killua begins to shine on his own and is filled with a sense of serenity as he and Gon light up the dark.

With no importance to the walk, their motions become languid.

     Gon is smiling and it's infectious as Killua feels his own lips begin to stretch out into a grin.

     Then it gets dark.

     Gon's light begins to fade.

     Killua is puzzled, as he still shines.  But he doesn't let go of Gon's hand and fends the darkness off with only his own light.

     Gon struggles, the pleasant laziness of their stride morphs into Killua dragging Gon as he has difficultly moving onward.

     Killua didn't know where he was going, but it became urgent to go.  They couldn't stop, he has to keep moving, keep going.

     The effort on Killua only increases.  Why isn't Gon moving?  Gon's light is gone now, it's only Killua that lights the way.  Why is Gon's light gone?

Why is it only I, Killua thinks, that has the light?

     They've come to a stop.  Killua can't move Gon.  He won't let go of his hand though, how can he?  Gon won't be able to see in the dark.

Gon, who has been gripping Killua's palm forcefully, slackens his hold.  Killua tries to hold to his friend tighter but as he does Gon's hand slips through his fingertips.

     Killua can only make out his silhouette for a moment before he blinks and Gon is gone.

Fear fills Killua and desperation sets in.

     "Gon?" he asks to the dark and the nothingness around him.

     "GON!" he shouts, his voice cracking.

     He runs, looking for something, anything, and sees only the dark with no sign of his friend.  He runs and he runs and his light starts to fade.

Killua stops, looking at the light radiating from his body that grows dim.  He clenches his fists, trying to will light to come.  It only disappears quicker.

     The light ceases starting from his legs and from his head, the dark spreads over all his body and halting at his heart, where a light still faintly glows.  He stares at his heart and wonders how long before it too goes out.

     It seems like a long time that he stands alone looking at the insubstantial glow from his chest.

Then he sees red.

     It is light, yes, but the red is not the light that Gon had emitted or what now shines from Killua's heart.

The red light is like a trail and Killua follows it, knowing what he will find.  The closer he gets, the more the placidity he feels drain away.

     When he reaches the source of the red, he sees Gon with his back to Killua.

     Killua knows it's Gon, and he knew it would be Gon, but there's something so unnatural about him.  Killua begins to walk to his friend but feels a force shoving him back.  He ignores it and pushes through, pushes and pushes and puts his hand on Gon's shoulder.

     Gon stands still for a moment before he falls into Killua, limp like a doll.  Killua sets him in his lap, holding him and doesn't let go.  The light from his heart diffuses across his body and shines onto Gon.

     The red stays with Gon.

     Killua's eyes do not leave Gon but he is aware of other lights around them, coming and going.  One of the lights stays right behind Killua.  This particular light suddenly explodes and consumes everything, the dark blocked out.  It's so bright that Killua can't see but it fades back into the dark slowly.  Killua gets to watch Gon's eyes open and meet his own.  The red is gone, but his own light has not returned.

     Killua still glows and helps Gon to his feet.  He takes Gon's hand and they walk yet again, steps deliberate and slow.  They do not walk together long before they stop.  Gon's light has not returned fully but his heart has begun to glow just slightly.  He squeezes Killua's hand and then lets go.  Killua does not make any attempt to hold on.  Gon gazes at him for a moment before he turns around and leaves.

     Killua watches him go.  He doesn't move until he can't see the light of Gon's heart in the distance.

     Then he runs.  He runs as fast and as far as he can.

     He comes to a stop and looks at himself.  His light has begun to fade again.  Quicker than last time, only his heart remains before he knows what's happening.

     His heart glows.

     Glows.  Glows.  Flickers.  And it's gone.

     It's dark.  Everything ends in the dark.


End file.
